This week in our Bible study we are supposed to share our story with someone which, considering the masks and lockdowns and screaming children that seem to always be accompanying me, has proven quite difficult. So I thought I’d share it on here.
I’ve always struggled with telling it because I don’t feel like there is much to it – simple version: I grew up Christian, the end. But the truth is, I consider myself mightily blessed to have grasped how amazing God is from a very young age. He has always been very real and very personal to me and I am so thankful for that experience that I know saved me from a lot of potential self inflicted heartache. I have seen Him do such miraculous things in my life – from sorting out the minute details of my college madness, to throwing our entire wedding with a 25cent wedding fund, to saving my parents marriage when I was convinced all was lost, to getting us our dream house at the perfect time in an impossible market – I have seen Him show up time and time again and be a God of loving, personal details, doing what He does best – creating the most amazing things out of absolutely nothing.
I don’t have some crazy compelling conversion story, it’s true, but I have a whole notebook of ways I’ve seen Him working and providing and carrying us through impossible situations. With all my questions that arise about Christianity and faith and doubts about this or that, nothing can convince me that He isn’t real and that He isn’t good because I’ve seen things that only He can do. His presence in my life has given me the strength to look forward into the darkest circumstances and see hope. Nothing is too big for Him. What freedom that brings amidst chaos. But despite growing up Christian, I never saw Him personally working in my life till I stopped to look for it. And the Bible describes the Kingdom of Heaven as such – something you have to search for… that once you find, changes everything.
So my challenge for you is this: READ THE BIBLE. It’s been around a real long time and has stirred up a whole lot of controversy… it says a lot of crazy things that if they are true, you might wanna pay attention to. Study it, challenge it, research things that make absolutely no sense the first time around. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you when you read it, because He is the same God through the whole thing, working toward the same purpose of restoring what is broken and offering a way back to perfection, essentially, if you choose to accept it. It’s just the greatest love story ever told. So read it!! And then talk to Him – pray specifically for things and see how He answers. Sometimes He says no… and He is good. Sometimes He says wait… and He is good. And sometimes He says YES YES YES which is what we all really want ;) But trusting that He loves us so dang much and knows the best for us, allows us to see whichever answer He gives as the most precious gift, albeit difficult at times.
He is so good and has done all the hard work so that we can live the most fulfilling life free from guilt and shame and walk in the freedom that is forgiveness. If you seek Him, He promises you will find Him. Anyways, that’s my lil condensed story. If you ever have any questions about faith or the Bible or anything, Greg and I love wrestling through all the confusing stuff and would love love love to talk to you about it. I still have so many questions and I’ve been a Christian for almost 30 years! So let’s talk!
So, speaking of blessings, my friend sent me these the other day which just bring my heart so much joy. That man right there I prayed for since I was maybe 4 or 5? Those kids, I begged God for, for years and years. That house, I would sit in my car on my lunch break and do the math over and over just to reveal again and again I would never be able to own a house in California. Like I said, nothing is too big for Him. And now we are in the season of leaning hard on Him once more as we try to navigate the impossible world of wills and parenting struggles and heartache and daily tears as I feel like such a failure the majority of the time. But these are such a reminder to me that He is faithful and He is good and I am just so thankful for the mess that He turns into beauty :)